


Go Go RWBY Rangers

by Wingzeroalchemist



Category: RWBY
Genre: I cannot emphasize enough how dumb this is, I wrote this in an hour while sleep deprived, Not Serious, One Shot, Parody, seriously stupid, stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 20:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15614304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wingzeroalchemist/pseuds/Wingzeroalchemist
Summary: What happens when a monkey on a keyboard listening to the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers theme has an idea? Something very silly, very on the nose, and very poorly written.





	Go Go RWBY Rangers

**Author's Note:**

> This is not meant to be taken seriously. For extra points, try and spot all the references.

Team RWBY were having a normal day, having fun as they did charity work rebuilding the local community center.

Suddenly, they heard a familiar beeping jingle come from their Scrolls. Carefully looking around to make sure they weren't being watched, the girls all hit a hidden button on their Scrolls. Transforming into blurs of Red, White, Black, and Yellow light, the four girls rocketed off into the sky before disappearing. 

Far away, in a desert canyon that was conveniently right next to the lush temperate area of Vale, the blobs of light landed in a strange stone fortress. 

Inside the girls rematerialized, returning to their normal selves in a strange room. They stood on a raised purple platform, surrounded in an almost complete circle of high tech looking computers. Beyond those, the walls seemed to be painted to look like the starry blackness of outer space. At the head of the room was a large emerald colored tube. Floating in said tube was the gargantuan disembodied head of an old man. The head had light gray hair and wore round spectacles. Well, he was supposed to look old. In reality he looked young enough to be the girls older sibling and was just dressed as an old man, but he was an old man nonetheless. 

“Team RWBY, it’s good to see you,” said the head.

Ruby stepped forward, “What's going on Prof. Ozpin?”

“It seems Salem Repulsa is up to no good again. She has sent down a new monster, and it is terrorizing the city.”

“What is it?” Weiss asked “What kind of monster are we dealing with?”

“Yeah, and where do we need to go so we can kick its butt?” Yang piped in, slamming her fists together. 

From besides the giant tube, a blonde woman walked forward and pointed at a strange orb with her riding crop. An image of a 7 foot tall humanoid rooster appeared on the orb. It had a massive beak filled with large pointed teeth.

“Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi,” she deadpanned. “The monster called ‘Cockbite’ is terrorizing downtown Vale. We need you girls to stop it.”

Turning to Ozpin, she brought her hands to her hips. “I'll take my leave now, Professor. I have papers to grade,” she said, before walking towards the wall of the room and exiting through a hidden door.

There was a beat as everyone stared at where she had exited before Ozpin turned back to the girls. “Right. Rangers, only you can stop this monster,” he said.

“We’re on it, Professor,” Blake said.

They all pulled out belt buckles with their emblems on them and held the objects out from their chest.

“It's Morphin’ time!” shouted Ruby. “Red Ranger Power!”

“White Ranger Power!”

“Black Ranger Power!”

“Yellow Ranger Power!”

In another flash of light the girl’s normal outfits had been replaced with spandex of their individual colors and matching helmets, their emblems displayed on their chests. 

“Ai-ya!” Ruby cried as she front flipped over to land in front of the monster.

The other three performed their own flips and ‘kiahs’ that this shitposter is too lazy to write and all landed facing the monster in downtown Vale.

“Well, look what we have here?” cackled Cockbite, “If it isn't the Power Weenies!”

“That's Power Rangers!” Weiss corrected angrily, waving her arms wildly into different karate poses.

“Whatever you're called, I'm going to fry you up good!” the monster exclaimed, stepping forward and breaking fire out of its giant mouth.

“That wasn't even a pun!” Yang shouted before jumping over the gout of flame, adding multiple unnecessary spins and flips. 

The girls proceeded to kung fu fight Salem’s ridiculous monster, with many poses and over the top sound effects. 

Finally, the girls jumped back, slouched in exhaustion. 

“He's too strong,” Blake panted out.

“And his jokes are so bad,” complained Yang.

Making another pose with accompanying sound effects, Ruby came to a decision. “It's time to get serious, let’s use the power weapons.”

The other girls nodded in agreement. “Right.”

All of them reaching upwards, they brought forth their weapons.

“Crescent Rose!”

“Myrtenaster!”

“Gambol Shroud!”

“Ember Celica!”

With a bolt of lightning the named weapons appeared in their hands. 

Again leaping into battle, the Rangers had much more success. After much more Kung fu and sparks flying, the girls once more stood back together.

“It's time we finish this dude!” said Ruby. “Alright!” the others responded in unison 

Ruby then slammed her scythe blade into the ground. The other girls laid their weapons on to certain places on the sniper scythe, making it glow. Then Weiss and Blake stood on either side of Ruby and put their hands on her shoulders, Yang standing by Blake with her hand on the Faunus’ shoulder. 

As Ruby took aim, she shouted, “Mega Power Blaster locked on!”

Then as one they all shouted, “Fire!”

A gigantic energy blast burst forth from the barrel, disintegrating Cockbite with a pitiful “Bu-cawk!”

 

From the moon, the evil witch Salem lowered her giant telescope. “Oooooooh, I hate those Power Rangers!” she cried.

Grabbing her staff, she hurled it towards the Earth below. “Magic Wand, make my monster grow!”

 

As the girls were celebrating, the staff landed on the pile of ash that was once Cockbite. There was a flash of light, and then a fully reformed Cockbite appeared before growing to gargantuan size.

“Bawk Bawk Bawk Bawk!” He laughed, “It'll take more than that to make a pot pie outta me!”

Making some more poses, Ruby again lifted her arm in the air. “We need RWBY-Zord power, now!”

“Wolfzord!”

“Snowfoxzord!”

“Kittyzord!”

“Dragonzord!”

From different locations, great mechanical beasts emerged. From the deepest part of the Emerald Forest a giant mechanical crimson Wolf came sprinting.

From the frozen arctic of Atlas came giant mechanical white fox.

From a gigantic suburban house in the middle of nowhere, a giant black mechanical cat bolted out of the cat door after much deliberation on whether it wanted to go out or not. 

From a volcano that was also conveniently near Vale, a great golden mechanical dragon burst forth.

The 4 Zords luckily all arrived moments later simultaneously, and the 4 Rangers leaped up into their respective beasts. 

Using the Zords, the team fought the monster, causing untold destruction to the city. 

“We’re not doing enough damage!” called out Weiss.

Just then, a great howling filled the air before trailing off, followed by a cute “Arf!”

All combatants paused and turned to look at a nearby mountain. Atop said mountain stood a small dog, dressed in its own costume of white, black, and gray with matching helmet.

“Corgi Ranger, you're here!” Yang said excitedly.

“Yeah, greeeat.” Blake snarked sarcastically.

“Bark bark!” Corgi Ranger barked, before jumping down from the mountain and landing in his own giant mechanical corgi. 

“Alright, it's time for Megazord Power!” Ruby declared.

The others responded with 3 simultaneous “Right!” and one “Arf!”

A cheesy mechanical voice crackled from the inside of the cockpits, “Megazord sequence initiated.”

A lengthy transformation sequence later, the five Zords had combined into one human giant robot. 

The Rangers engaged the teethed rooster again, the fight now resembling something out of a Kaiju movie. 

This time the Rangers managed hit Cockbite hard enough to leave him in a daze. They then stepped back and summoned a giant sword from the sky. 

“Say goodbye Birdbrain!” shouted Yang.

The sword then transformed into a giant gun and the Megazord took aim.

“Megazord sword-gun sequence complete!” cried out Ruby. “Lock on, and fire!”

And massive ball of multicolored light fired from the oversized gun, completely engulfing the giant rooster and bringing it up into the sky before exploding.


End file.
